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Found in O'Brien's "Master & Commander" a phrase that fits my "current mood" like a glove. The meaning? All hands on a ship that is blown closer and closer to the shore work as hell, tack follows tack, but the only result is ship standing at same distance from the shore. At same distance till the crew is strong enough to drive it.

My computer game project eats me from inside. And I have no choice but struggle forward till the wind change. Struggle knowing that the only alternative is a wreck. And that lasts already two years and half.

O, Almighty, help me to overcome my laziness, help me to learn from my mistakes, send me your blessing. Let me fulfill my duty to you, don’t drop me into oblivion.

Date: 2004-06-26 04:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wildernesscat.livejournal.com
Oh boy! What's this "computer game project" all about?

Date: 2004-06-26 04:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arpad.livejournal.com
Medium scale MMOG (Massively Multiplayer Online Game). Original mix of strategy (not RTS) and role-play, oriented on "young adults" - 25-35. Thin client (Internet browser+flash). Expected dev-t budget $800K. Should become a trailer project for computer games studio. ATM business plan and game design are well developed, whereas system design is at very early stage. "Crew" consist of 7 people that spend their free time and led by your humbly servant. Now making sort of graphic demo to be able to show anything to investors except paper. Etc-etc-etc Blah-blah-blah.

Date: 2004-06-26 12:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wildernesscat.livejournal.com
The crew does it in their spare time? And you? Sounds like a hefty project. What are the main problems, in a nutshell?

Date: 2004-06-27 06:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arpad.livejournal.com
And me not ;)

As for main problems. The essense - get money and use them right. I.e.:

Business – getting an intelligent investment and afterwards survive on limited budget and tight schedule. Don’t botch game launch and game marketing.

Game design – to breed simplicity of interface (and game rules) with complexity of the game. [long story here]

Technical side – organize top-down development in a right way. Lots of open question with middle-tier application. Lots of open question with server farm. Blah blah blah.

Date: 2004-07-05 01:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wildernesscat.livejournal.com
I hope your investors are patient with you, and you can see "the light at the end of the tunnel". It's not an easy task.

thanks

Date: 2004-07-05 02:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arpad.livejournal.com
I hope they will be petient with me :). Cause now I do have a lot of contacts, but no one of them offer real negotiations yet.

Invictus

Date: 2004-06-26 10:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sinistrorsum.livejournal.com
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

Re: Invictus

Date: 2004-06-27 01:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arpad.livejournal.com
Nice one. Rather defiant, though :)

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